


Reflections Caught in Mirrors

by DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose



Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Adam is clingy, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergent, Fix It Fic, Fluff, Golden Lovers mention, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Inspired by Music, Kenny has commitment issues, Kenny is scared of Love, Kenny let him fall :(, M/M, Post All Out, adam did nothing wrong, ive never made out with anyone, so sorry if the kiss scene sucks, sorta?, the boys are soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28384515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose/pseuds/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose
Summary: Adam tends to hold on as tight as he can when things begin to go wrong. Sometimes the things he does and his intentions get misconstruedKenny tends to let go and break away when things go south. Everything he does is a deliberate action to provoke a response he had carefully calculated and planned forHe doesn’t get the response he calculated.Adam wants to fix what he has broken.
Relationships: Kenny Omega/Adam Page
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Reflections Caught in Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> Might be a sequel if you guys enjoy this! 
> 
> Please comment! It makes me day and I read every single one!

Adam was battered and bruised. He had taken the pin, and was struggling to his feet, grabbing on to the ropes. He leant there, ignoring Kenny's anxious pacing. He couldn't see the table in his hands, not from this vantage point.

He still had total faith in Kenny. He trusted the man with all his heart. A bit of him, a bit he hadn't quite accepted just yet, knew that he loved the man he had just failed.

He hated the sinking feeling of failure that was manifesting in his chest. He had lost them the match. If he had tried just a little bit harder, then maybe- just maybe.

Maybe they could have succeeded. Maybe Matt and Nick would forgive everything and it would go back to normal, to the way things were supposed to be all along. The Elite all together once more.

The very group his reckless and selfish actions had gotten him exiled from. He was sorry. He wanted to scream it at the top of his lungs, but he knew that this may be a wound that words couldn't heal. Just as a band-aid doesn't heal a bullethole, just as a kiss doesn't mend a broken heart.

Adam desperately reached out to Kenny, stumbling hopelessly. They were each feeling way too many things for it to be okay. He could feel the anger, frustration and regret rolling off Kenny. Something like guilt and anxiety lingered under the surface.

Adam expected to be pushed away at any second, thrown to the floor and discarded like an object that had served its purpose, and no longer had value.

He knew that the more Kenny had learned of him, the less he had liked him. He couldn't blame him. 

He was so lost in the blizzard of his own grief over his former self, he couldn't see that Kenny was falling into a similar trap. Except not one of self-loathing and misery, but one of hatred and anger.

They were feeling the same things, but coping differently.

Adam saw what the Bucks saw. He had watched his reflection change beyond recognition, he had watched his own fall from grace, and it had been his way of dealing with it. He agreed when people told him that he was just a drunk, that he had no talent. He believed them, afraid to make a fool of himself all over again by trying to prove them wrong. 

Kenny was different. He grappled with harsh words every moment of his career, he knew that the top brought no comfort from them. He didn't care. He ascended no matter the cost, proving the critics wrong over and over. Even if it meant he had to sacrifice his own humanity to get there. Even if he had to push away someone he loved dearly, he would prove all the naysayers were nothing but vultures. 

He'd done it once, he could do it again.

Where Kenny stepped away, Adam leant in. When Kenny would let go of too much, Adam would cling to anything that would stay a while. 

Therefore, it was simple to predict what would happen next.

Kenny stepped back to let him fall. 

When Adam hit the canvas, he felt his world crumble. He knew Kenny was pushing him away. Whether it was out of fear or some other, unknown emotion, he had no clue.

He tried to look up at Kenny, but his back was already turned. He wanted to grab Kenny by the shoulders and beg him for forgiveness. They got in his head. He was sorry.

Kenny had abandoned him.

After all the times he had let his own insecurities blind him and pushed the people he loved away, he couldn't exactly be surprised, but that didn't mean his heart wasn't breaking right there in the ring.

He was up on his feet pretty quickly. He stumbled to the back, trying to follow Kenny. He tried to keep up, but Kenny kept trying to lose him in the corridors of Daily's place.

He reached out and his hand closed around Kenny's wrist, gripping tightly. He tried to tug his hand out of Adam's grip, but he wouldn't let go. Kenny sighed, even giving a slight eye roll.

"Let go, Adam."

"Hear me out." 

It was a soft plea, and it wasn't much to ask. Kenny stiffened slightly before turning his head, eyes obscured by the two-toned curls that hung in front of his face.

"We're bad for each other." Kenny said, his voice harsh and abrasive. The words needed to be said. It felt like a relief for them both, to have that out in the open.

"You're right." Adam looked up at him.

"But what are you going to do about it?" Kenny met his eyes, but only for a moment. They were just as blue as ever, even if they were icy and glazed over, now. Adam felt like he could drown in them.

There was a silence as dense as lead. Adam hesitated, stumbling over words as he desperately searched for an idea of where he would go from here. Where would he go? He had nowhere to turn. For the first time, he had burned a bridge, and like the amateur to letting go that he was, he had forgotten that everything that he held dear was at risk of catching fire too.

And now he was surrounded by the ashes of his life, the same ashes that had become the dust settling on them all.

He had nothing left to cling to and that wasn't exactly news to anyone but himself, apparently.

He stared at Kenny, open mouthed, before looking down.

"That's what I thought. You need me. No matter how many times you say we are tearing each other apart, you won't walk out that door. You never do." Kenny's voice was almost monotonous, almost unfeeling. It was on the precipice between cold and empty, torn between showing disdain and no emotion at all. 

The goofy smile he had grown accustomed to was gone, and the warm and soft voice he adored had faded into something totally different.

Adam sighed. Kenny knew him. Knew his insecurities, fears, and everything he hated about himself. He never kept anything from him. He didn't think he physically could.

Except one thing.

In response to his silence, Kenny spoke once more.

"You need me, and I don't need you, not anymore. I got what I wanted from you. I've no need for you now."

"You're my best friend. I don't care if you're bad for me. I don't think I could hate you if I tried" 

"We were never friends, Adam. Whoever told you that we are is nothing but a fool."

It felt surreal, that he was walking out and leaving. The words were beginning to slip through the cracks in the fragile walls the cowboy had built, and a sob bubbled in his throat.

He wanted a drink. He could feel the compulsion to pour a glass, to let the amber liquor numb his mind and give him respite from the soul-shattering confusion he was feeling. 

No. Not again, he wasn't going to descend into that bottomless pit of failure. He was going to hold his head high and he was going to turn this all around. For both of them.

"I know you, Kenny! And this isn't you. You're afraid." He challenged. "You're pushing me away, you're pushing everyone away, we can all see it." 

"You don't know me. You never have."

The words were spat like they left a bad taste in Kenny's mouth.

Adam hadn't understood the power words possessed until that moment. The words weren't sinking in, it was too much, he was overwhelmed. Kenny was the only concrete thing in his life right now. The one thing he had to hang onto.

He sputtered out the most honest thing he could, while trapped in his own web of lies and deceit. The false thought that he could stop whenever he wanted, that he was in no way out there of control. The lie he lived, insisting everything was okay.

"I know what music you listen to when you're having a bad day, I know what shows you adore, I know that you love Matt and Nick like they're the brothers you never had and it's breaking your heart to try and keep everything together when they both hate me so much." 

He could feel the tears coming to his eyes, and his heart ached with desperation. 

"I know what makes you laugh, I know what makes you cry... I know your style in the ring. I know you, Kenny. I don't know everything about you... but I know you. I know enough to know that this? This isn't you talking to me right now."

"You know, Kota said the same thing. You're gullible. Did you think you were different? That you were special? Well you aren't. You were a hobby that got boring, just like he was. A mutually beneficial agreement. No more, no less." 

His tone was clinical, and the words were cutting. It felt like they were chiseled from marble.

"You don't mean that." Adam said, a little taken aback.

"What do you think saying that will achieve? Do you expect me to smile and say it was all for a laugh?"

"Kenny-"

He was too sober for this. He had somewhat known he and Kenny would be parting ways soon - he had known since the match had ended. But that didn't mean he was ready for it to end.

"We're done. Whatever this arrangement was, it's over." 

He stood up and leant in so they were eye to eye. To anyone unaware of the conversation it would look like he was leant in for a kiss. He even tilted Adam's chin up to meet his eyes. 

Adam couldn't help but look into those eyes. Maybe it would be the last time. They were always a hypnotic shade of blue that always made his face heat up, but now they were dull and unforgiving. Even now, in this dark moment, he was still admiring Kenny. 

"And you've no one left to turn to." Kenny finished, withdrawing and trying to leave, but Adam's grip on his wrist wouldn't let him. He let out a quiet huff of frustration.

It felt surreal, that he was walking out and leaving. The words were beginning to slip through the cracks in the fragile walls the cowboy had built, and a sob bubbled in his throat..

He wanted a drink. He could feel the compulsion to pour a glass, to let the amber liquor numb his mind and give him respite from the soul-shattering confusion he was feeling. 

No. Not again, he wasn't going to descend into that bottomless pit of failure. He was going to hold his head high and he was going to turn this all around. For both of them.

"I know what this is. When you're afraid, you push away whoever you are closest to. Kota might have let you go... he might have been done with your bullshit, and who can blame him... but I won't let you go." 

Kenny's face actually read shock for a moment and Adam swore he could see a tear. His face quickly returned to the cold expression from moments before.

"You've no right to speak of Kota that way." He snapped. Even as much as he vehemently denied it, everyone knew he still felt for Kota.

"Kenny, you can't run forever. I would know. I'm not going to let you destroy yourself. You'll fall into the same cycle I am in, and I can't let that happen. Running away solves nothing."

"I hate you." Kenny tries, looking away in an attempt to keep hiding from him. It's weak and feeble, a last attempt to keep his fragile dignity.

"I love you." Adam replies without any hesitation. It was an almost instinctual reply, one that he wouldn't have chosen in a less desperate time.

Kenny's head snapped to look at him, eyes wide with genuine surprise. 

"And when you love someone, you do your best to make them happy and do what is best for them, and that is what I will do for you. Because I love you." 

Kenny tries to wrench his wrist out of Adam's grip, cussing under his breath when the other man won't let go. His eyes were squeezed shut, and tears were beginning to make their way down his cheeks. His jaw was set and he was gritting his teeth.

"And I know you are scared. I am too. Let's be scared together... okay...?" He said, so gently and softly that he wasn't sure if Kenny had heard him.

There was another silence, thick as treacle. Kenny threw himself into Adam's arms. The cowboy staggered back, but laughed softly, pulling Kenny close, arms wrapped around him tightly in the hope that would make him feel safe.

"I wish I knew how to quit you." Kenny said, in that soft voice he used whenever he was comforting Adam. That statement hung in the air for a few moments, as they held each other. They each took the time to process it, hear it, really internalise it. 

When they parted, he spoke again. "You're like an addiction. Every time I think I'm over you, you pull me back in." 

Another heavy silence, as they each took the time to hear the words. They seemed just as new to Kenny as they did to Adam, who was listening attentively, wanting Kenny to feel heard. He took both of his hands and made eye contact, but Kenny broke it, looking down at the floor.

"I tried to cut ties. I tried to step away from you, to escape. I tried to run from my feelings, because they are something I can't control. I was falling in love with you." He confessed. "And I was scared to be in love again... after how things ended for me last time. Sure... I get jealous, seeing Matt and Nick with their families... I want something like that. I want a family, I want something I can come home to... but the fear outweighed the jealousy tenfold."

He let out a deep sigh. He almost felt embarrassed to admit all these things. They were things he hadn't even known about himself.

"Especially when I know that I won't find anyone who is willing to follow me down the path I want to take."

"I love you, Kenny. And that won't change, no matter what path you take. I will be at your side, not even a step behind. And I know I hurt you, and I know you're still upset. I upset the balance of the Elite. I affected your friendships. But I did it because I don't want to lose you. I was scared and I did something stupid. And aren't we both guilty of that?"

"That's already been forgiven. You were trying to protect the Elite. You were protecting me... you know what it did to me after we last faced them. We nearly lost them. I nearly lost myself. What you did was the best thing for all of us, even if they couldn't see that. They'll come to see it in time."

"Really?" He asked gently

"It's so hard to stay mad at you." Kenny confessed. "I gave up trying on the Jericho cruise."

"The first night we tagged together." He smiled softly. His memories of that night were hazy, but what he could remember made a wonderful picture. "And the night we won the championships." 

"I'll never forget it." Kenny smiled at him. The warmth and love in that smile was a total contrast from the cold look from just a few moments ago, but that was the last thing on Adam's mind right now. "It was... it was pretty magical. But there's something I want to do that I think might top it."

"Well... what is it? You can't just say that and not-"

Adam was cut off as Kenny cupped his face in both hands and kissed him like he meant it. And he did, with every bit of his soul.

The metallic taste of blood - some from Kenny's bitten lip, some from where Kenny had caught Adam's jaw with a V-Trigger earlier in the evening - fills both their mouths with the taste of copper, conducting passionate electricity through them both, following the circuit their joined hands created. 

Adam let go, tangling his fingers in Kenny's soft curls, keeping him close. While Adam's lips tasted like cheap whiskey and iron, Kenny tasted of warm vanilla cookies and spearmint chewing gum, only slightly besmirched by the hint of copper.

The kiss lasted several minutes. Neither one of them wanted to pull away, even when air became scarce. It was only when they each felt lightheaded that they finally split from the kiss.

Kenny took his hand, interlocking their fingers. "I have a car waiting outside. The bucks will probably be out there, but you should pay them no mind. Come with me, we'll get a ride back to our room."

"That sounds wonderful." Adam said softly. They took a back exit, trying to sneak around the corner and avoid Matt and Nick. The coast seemed to be clear, and Kenny ushered Adam into the car. He stepped in himself, before a hand gripped his wrist.

"Kenny, where are you going?" Nick asked, confused.

"I'm going back to my room. Let go." 

"Kenny, why is he here?" Matt demanded, almost accusatory. 

"Because he actually gives a damn about me. He's proven that much." 

"You don't need him-" 

"Maybe I don't." Kenny said. "But I want him in my life. He makes me happy. I'm damned sure I'm in love with him." He raised his and Adam's joined hands to emphasise his point.

"And if we're talking about what I do and don't need, I know one thing for sure. I don't need you." He wrenched his arm free and took his seat. Matt tried to speak, but Kenny interrupted.

"Goodbye." He announced, slamming the door. Adam smiled at him. 

"You chose me..."

"You always had my best interests in your mind. You risked everything to protect our friendships. You may have gone about it the wrong way, but you had only the best of intentions for the Elite. And I love you all the more for it." Kenny promised, leaning over to peck Adam's cheek as they each settled in for the short drive. 

The radio wasn't playing, there was only the rumble of the engine and the sounds of the late night traffic. Adam was staring absentmindedly out of the tinted car window, while Kenny rested his head back. He finally turned to look at him.

"Hey... Uh.. Hangman..?" Kenny started, hesitantly.

"Yeah, Kenny?" Adam asked, still reeling from the conversation with the bucks. If you could call it a conversation, it was really more of a yelling match. Even calling it that felt wrong, since it was mostly one sided

"Maybe... we shouldn't tag together any longer."

"Wait- but you said-"

He hated the anxiety he could hear in Adam's voice. Was that really how he had been acting lately? Like he would betray Adam in such a horrible way?

Those kind of thoughts were far too overwhelming for a time as fragile as this.

"I know what I said. It's just... it created a rift between us. I don't want that rift to become an ocean... I don't want the past to repeat and become my future. And it will, if I don't do what is best for us both." 

"Kenny... we'll still be together though, right?" He asked worriedly. 

"Of course, every step of the way. We'll room together, travel together, train together. I'll come to ringside if you want me there. And it's not forever- I was just thinking for a little while, you know? So we can focus on our singles careers." 

"Alright. If that's what you want, then it's worth a shot."


End file.
